Take Two: Song of Solomon 8, Proverbs 22

In this final chapter, the song concludes…but with anticipation of the beginning. It concludes with an invitation to the husband to come to the wife and for them to experience physical love together. As such, one commentator asserted that the movements to this point have been (as in a song), anticipation and struggle within the woman as she prepares for her wedding day and the consummation thereof.

There is a ton of imagery that points to this interpretation…even though it makes modern readers gasp or giggle.

In v.1 the woman exclaims that she wishes her lover were like a brother. This would allow for PDA (public display for affection)…something that would be prohibited for a husband and wife. IOW: She would be able to kiss him and hold his hand in public. V.2 speaks of her longing for physical, sexual union (made more obvious in v.3).

Vv. 4-7 speak of the warning against love expression too soon. It talk of the need to guard oneself against spoiling the wedding day.

The final verses, vv.8ff, show the evolution of the woman’s maturity and the culmination of the wait. She was as a wall (young and physically immature, and has grown to fullness as a woman (v.10). What was undeveloped has become grand. She has cared for her own vineyard (a flashback to the early verses of the song) and now invites her husband to come to her, like a young stag or a gazelle (v.14).

A couple of observations and then a closing remark.

First, there is a definite tension in the song as it relates to desire, discipline, and gratification. Certainly…that which is proposed and encouraged is delaying gratification until the appropriate time.

Second, the relationship between husband and wife is wrought with adventure and dramatic interaction. True then…true now. (Marriages die when the couple allow the drama and adventure to dissipate into complacency and presumption.)

Finally…let’s not forget that the sexual imagery expressed here in this letter is a gift…grace from God. In our overly “sexed” culture…we have seen this grace of God cheapened and “pimped out” in so many ways. Women and men are treated as sexual objects to be valued for their service…not as a gift given to their soulmate. What was given as a precious expression of union, love, and commitment has been reduced to “friends with privileges, hedonism, and (in the most extreme cases) perversion and immorality. God’s grace is only possible within the confines within which it is given. We cannot experience the fullness of pleasure as God intends…when we cheapen the gift and make it a tool for our own pursuits.

I love “fresh starts.” Everyone I know has a “history” of missing the mark and missing out on the abundance that Christ supplies. I thank God that He allows new beginning and redeems that which is destroyed…making it useful, pleasurable, and gratifying again.

Proverbs 22:17 is the takeaway today. “Incline your ear and hear the words of the wise, and apply your mind to my knowledge”

Tomorrow, I want to return to the NT and revisit the Book of Galatians. Join me!

Take Two: Song of Solomon 7, Proverbs 21

This chapter begins with Solomon as the speaker as he compliments the wife for her beauty. This is a passionate and wildly uninhibited expression of his admiration for his wife. He begins at her feet and describes her in detail from her hips, to her belly and navel, to her breasts, neck, eyes and hair. In essence, he describes her from “toe to head”…the opposite of the order in Ch 4.

Notice that his descriptions would seem a bit cumbersome in our culture today. “Your belly is like a heap of wheat” (v.2). “Your nose is like the tower of Lebanon (v.4).” Remembering that there is a difference in times and culture…it suffices to say that he describes her body with the most notable and prominent of features of beauty, grace, and awe in his cultural setting.

(For my Auburn graduate friends…be careful telling your girl she has a belly like a pile of anything or you want to drink wine from her navel. Avoid at all costs the references to her nose being like any tower, cliffs, or other terrain features. She will throw heavy objects in your direction!)

It should not be missed that he is enamored with his wife and describes her in the most detailed, careful, and loving ways. POINT: Her beauty is IMPORTANT to her and she needs to know that he knows her and appreciates her beauty as well. She desires to be beautiful and he meets her desires.

In the midst of his description, he tells her of his great desire to climb the palm tree (vv.7-8) to which she responds and invites him to come.

Her language is poetic as she declares her love for him (v.10) and affirms that she has saved herself for him (v.13). She invites him to experience with her the fruitfulness of the harvest…a familiar image throughout the song (vv.11-12). Don’t miss the “mandrakes” reference in v.13…as it was considered a powerful aphrodisiac (like the raisin cakes discussed earlier) and, as before, made all the Jewish boys and girls blush and giggle when discussed.

There is something powerful, pure, and innocent about this love expressed between this couple. They are overwhelmed with one another. They show respect, admiration, and care for one another. They do not assume, presume, or manipulate in this relationship. They serve one another…and in so doing, are completely and passionately satisfied. This is God’s WILL for marriage. It is why he desires for nothing to defile this special union. It is part of His grace toward us to give us our mates.

OBSERVATION: If you read this and feel somewhat inadequate in your past actions or inactions…remember that today is a new day. God forgives in ways that we cannot always do ourselves at first…but it is worth it to work through the difficulties to cultivate this kind of relationship again. Sir…take flowers and look into her eyes. Talk to her…and not just as a prelude to physical love. M’am…build him up. Tell him what a stud he is and tell your girlfriends that he “killed the curve” for all men. Honor and respect one another. Invest deeply into the pleasures of relationship…not necessarily with weekend getaways or fancy dinners (though those are a nice supplement), but find ways to invest in the daily activities of life. Do the dishes together. Sit on the deck together. Put the kids to bed at 8 and spend 8:30 to 9:30 together just talking. Turn off Sportscenter and turn down the lights. Take “no” as “not now” and work toward a passionate “yes.”

God’s ways always lead to abundant life. No other ways get you there as quickly or as good.

Proverbs 21:11 is the takeaway today. “When the scoffer is punished, the naive become wise; but when the wise is instructed, he receives knowledge.”

Take Two: Song of Solomon 6, Proverbs 20

Chapter 6 speaks of the reunion and restoration of the relationship following the issues in chapter 5, when the wife rejected her husband’s advances.

In. v.1 the “daughters” speak in follow-up from the question of 5:9. “Where is your man?” they ask. “We want to see him…the one you described in 5:10-16.”

In v.2 we find the curious statement that she knows where to find her husband…because she is his and he is hers (v.3). [NOTE: It seems the separation spoken of in chapter 5 is as much emotional as physical. She knew of where to find him...but still some emotional distance must be covered...there must be reconciliation.]

What is implied is that the wife sought out the husband…she recovered the distance and was before him. Also implied is the question of his response? Will he forgive and restore?

VV.4-10 express the husband’s response…it is a response of full reconciliation and restoration. Notice: He speaks of her beauty and the overwhelming power of her gaze (Note: it is better to translate v.5 as “turn your eyes from me, for they had overwhelmed me”). When he looks into her eyes, he can hardly stand it. She exerts a draw…a power of persuasion over him. He is “smitten” and cannot (not that he would) remember anything negative about her.

Notice vv.5-7 repeat the compliments of the wedding day. His restoration is full and complete. He sees her as the one who stood before him on their first and most exciting day.

[POINT: Don't miss the value and wisdom of this. Bringing up yesterday's errors or focusing on past failures does not edify or strengthen. It destroys and diminishes. Once forgiveness is sought, it is to be given immediately and fully...never speaking of the transgression again. Just as JESUS did with us.]

vv.8-10, of all the women in the world and in the “stable,” there are none like this wife…she is unique.

NOTE: Scholars interpret vv.11-13 in numerous ways…all over the map. I think it is a poetic expression of physical union as the culmination of forgiveness and restoration…IOW: The “made up” and “made out.” (All the married folks understand). The woman who sought forgiveness is now swept away at the side of her lover (v.12) and they are now taken to the most intimate of settings…away from the gaze of others.

APPLIED: Now we could spiritualize this with great ease…and speak of Jesus’ response to us when we seek restoration. In this, we are taken back to the place where we are first consummated as His. I don’t want to trivialize this as it is a good application of the text. At the same time, this text is instructive on the human level as it relates to all relationships…especially those as intimate as marriage.

Seek forgiveness when you have done wrong. Give forgiveness when it is sought. Lose the historical journals of missteps of the past. Be intentional to restore and enjoy the wonder of new love over and over again. The marriage relationship is necessarily the most intimate and safest of all relationships. Within marriage, each party should be open, honest, vulnerable, and accommodating. The lover is hers, and the beloved is his. Forever.

Proverbs 20:28 is the takeaway today. “Loyalty and truth preserve the king, and he upholds his throne by righteousness.”

Take Two: Song of Solomon 5, Proverbs 19

Chapter 5 opens with a poetic verse describing marital love and the fact that the two consummated their relationship. Without being vulgar, the writer states that they loved without restriction.

Vv.2-8 is a shift in the conversation…

now, late in the evening after the woman has already gone to bed…she hears her husband beckon to her. Her response…I am already in bed and asleep…maybe some other time. Her husband’s response…no pressure…he simply leaves. Soon after, the wife rethinks her actions and goes to the door…to invite him in, but he is not there. The event raises panic (of sorts) within the wife who frantically looks for her husband…only to find pain and trouble for herself.

POINT: The marital union is for mutual benefit. The husband is to respect the desires of the wife and the wife is to respect the desires of the husband. (See 1 Cor 7 for a NT perspective). Part of the physical marriage relationship is expression of love, but part of it is protection from temptation. Physical love is both a gift and a responsibility. This is well understood by the wife who realizes that her actions were motivated by self-interest. She had already washed her feet and put on her nightclothes…how could he expect her to change all of that to come to him again? Once she realizes her error, she calls to him but the opportunity is gone.

Notice as well…that the husband did not act unbecomingly or in an angry manner (v.5). (The poetry here represents no malice or ill-action on the part of the husband…but respect, love, and goodwill.)

V.9 is a bit of a chorus rehearsed which transitions to the next solo by the wife…who describes her husband. He is tall, dark, and handsome with strong character (v.12), sweet lips (v.13), strong hands and chiseled abs (v.14), and without any fault in the eyes of his wife (v.16). NOTE: This does not mean that he was necessarily the “total package” in everyone’s view…but he certainly was in the view of his own wife…and she let him know it.

OBSERVATION/ SIDE NOTE: Some years ago, a friend taught my wife and I to never speak in a de-edifying way to or about one another. She was to build me up at every opportunity (edify) and I was to do the same. It still makes us cringe when we hear husbands and wives that critique or nit-pick their mates. What we KNOW is that each person is well aware of their own faults. Reminding them over and over…doesn’t fix the fault. Building them up…seeing them as the total package…this provides security, safety, and an environment for love to grow unabated.

Criticism is often more about the criticizer’s own insecurities…not the object of the criticism. Am I the total package? Certainly not…but my own wife tells me I am. Is she the total package? ABSOLUTELY.

Proverbs 19:17 is the takeaway today. “One who is gracious to a poor man lends to the Lord, and he will repay him for his good deed.”

Take Two: Song of Solomon 4, Proverbs 18

In this 4th chapter, we find the interaction fo the bridegroom and bride on the wedding day. (Tongue in cheek…this chapter has some of the best “pick up line” in all of Scripture.)

Solomon describes his view of his bride as he expresses his love to her. I think it is key that he starts with her head and first describes her eyes…whcih we discussed before as a statement of her inner character (v.2). Her beauty begins with her inner strength and moral convictions. He loves the “her” that endures…not the part that is fading. He also compliments and appreciates her physical beauty…which as we saw earlier is far different that her own self-appraisal.

The man’s appraisal of her beauty led to his desire for her. He calls for her to join him. He beckons to her (vv.8-15). He asks her to join him and be with him.

NOTE: There is no demand and no presumptions. There is only appreciation, respect, desire, and an invitation.

The woman’s response to her man’s assessment and request? V.16, Come to me now…with power and strength and KNOW me. (Now all of that is hidden in the poetic language, but it is there.)

APPLIED: In this dramatic scene…beginning from the first of the Book until now…what we have seen is the appreciation and respect, love and care shown from man to woman and woman to man. They exercised control and maintained boundaries. This did not diminish love, but built it.

Love takes time, cultivation, and respect for boundaries. Doing so…in God’s way…builds the relationship and secures it.

Proverbs 18:9 is the takeaway today. “He also who is slack in his work is brother to him who destroys.”

Take Two: Song of Solomon 3, Proverbs 17

There are two major movements in this chapter. The first consists of a dream by the woman who is troubled by the loss of her lover. She searches and cannot find him. She inquires of the watchman and there is no sign. She is distraught (vv.1-3). Then, she finds him…the one who “her soul loves.” This allusion is powerful to me. It is not an emotional love or a physical love that informs her desire for the man. It is a deep SOUL level connection for her. As such…the physical and emotional follow after the soul level commitment.

NOTE: If you take time to look for your “soul mate” and reject early attractions that are merely feelings or physical…you will get the entire package; but, if you settle for something less too quickly, you will ultimately be missing the greatest gift of all.

The second movement is the introduction of Solomon on the day he comes to marry his bride. He brings the finest chariot and 60 armed Green Berets to provide security and protection…as well as to insure that the couple is undisturbed. The wedding procession is so large that the dust kicked up appears as a column of smoke.

Picture the heart of the bride. All of her anticipation for many months has just been addressed. Now as she looks forward to the coming of her bridegroom, she sees the dust kicked up and hears the pound of the hooves of the horses. She sees the majesty of the man…the king…and she knows that her wait is almost over.

APPLIED: Certainly there are applications with the marriage relationship today. This soul level connection and anticipation of heart is all too real…or should be in every relationship. It requires attention, diligence, and passionate pursuit.

There is also a spiritual application. Do we (as the bride of Christ) look toward the horizon…longing for the coming of the Bridegroom (Jesus)? When he comes…it will be in majestic form and with great strength and power. Do we anticipate His coming? If we do, I imagine we live prepared. If not, I believe we will be surprised…both by His coming and by His expectations.

Proverbs 17:28 is the takeaway today. “Even a fool, when he keeps silent, is considered wise; when he closes his lips, he is considered prudent.”

Take Two: Song of Solomon 2, Proverbs 16

This chapter contains several “back and forth” movements from the beloved (bride/woman) to the lover (husband/beloved). Follow the drama as it increases in intensity.

In v.1, the woman claims to be one of many flowers…nothing special. The man responds in v.2 that she is the only flower among many thorns. His assessment of her is far higher than her own. She reciprocates with an extended response.

He is an apple tree in the forest…providing shade, security and nourishment/pleasure (v.3). He has honored her and brought her to the feast (v.4). v.5 is intense…as raisin cakes were considered as aphrodisiacs. (Every Jewish boy and girl would giggle at this statement). In v.6 she states her longing for his strong and intimate embrace…but in v.7 acknowledges that it is not yet time…a plea for self-control. Vv.8-9 give the image of the girl looking out the window on prom night…in great anticipation of her mate’s arrival. She is giddy and longing, anxious and excited.

Vv.10 begins the man’s response. He calls to her, noting that the time of preparation and waiting has concluded. Love is in full bloom (vv.11-13)…yet he cannot yet have her (v.14)…but can only gaze upon her form…which he longs to do. To get to her is a QUEST…an adventure of the highest proportions.

V.15 is an AMAZING pause and prayer. Catch the foxes so that the harvest will not be destroyed. In the context…the foxes would desire the fruit for the vine but could not always reach up to it…so they would nibble on the vines to weaken them. The vines would then fall over and the fox would steal the fruit.

The plea here is for there to be no distraction or outside temptation that would destroy or diminish the intended and anticipated pleasure of love as intended by God. To “catch the foxes” requires intentionality, perseverance, and tenacity. Wandering thoughts, other temptations…the desire to shortcut God’s plan and fulfill the love desire before the proper time…these are all little foxes which must be warded off.

vv.16-17 serve as a refrain. The woman compliments the man again…then calls for him to like a young stag climbing a mountain side…with fierceness, strength and urgency. (By the way…the mountains of Bether most likely relate to the split rocks…and are an allusion to the woman’s breasts. Again…this is a sensual letter which made all the boys and girls giggle).

Observation: Most of this back-and-forth is mental imagery. There is no physical contact yet…only imagination, desire, and heartfelt expressions of commitment and love. These two are absolutely enamored with one another…and on a level that is removed from physical fulfillment.

Two thoughts: This is possible because both the man and the woman work at it. They consider one another deeply and meditate on the intellectual, emotional, and physical stimulation their mate brings. Secondly, this is intensified because of their commitment to maintain boundaries.

POINT: I know it seems restrictive, backward, and rigid to assert that it is proper to maintain boundaries…to not delve into a physical love relationship apart from marriage. I know I am old-fashioned. However, I also spend a significant amount of time with people who suffer relationally because they do not maintain boundaries.

Finally…how amazing is God for instructing us with such power, grace, and beauty. He cares about every aspect and moment of our lives.

APPLIED: I would say…get to know your mate. Consider her (or him) deeply, intentionally, on every level. Love her mind, her emotions, her thoughts, smile, sense of humor, core values. Allow the ensuing desire to build…then yield to your desires in the Spring when the fields and vineyards are in bloom. Guard against the foxes (distractions, work commitments, temptations) and allow the anticipation to build, until the time is right.

Proverbs 16:3 is the takeaway today. “Commit your works to the Lord, and your plans will be established.”

Take Two: Song of Solomon 1, Proverbs 15

By way of introduction, let me mention a couple of things to keep this Book in context…so that we will see it for what it is…a divinely inspired and supernaturally preserved Book which God designed and desired for us to learn from and apply to our lives.

It is one of the most “racy” of books to some…because it speaks of love and insecurities and sexual pleasure and marital dispute…

In fact, for many years, the prevailing approach to this book was to treat it as allegory. It seemed to many that there was NO WAY God was going to speak of marital love and sexuality as anything good or for public discourse. I believe that this book is not to be taken as allegory but as literally referring to the relationship between a woman (the beloved) and her man (the lover). The story has all of the characteristics of a relationship today including their version of Facebook and Text Messaging! It carries with it the challenges that relationships experience today…with insecurities, “baggage,” jealousies, conflict and reconciliation.

Read it through several times. Remember that it is a poetic piece…a Song. In fact, as D.A. Carson noted, it is the only song of Solomon (who wrote more than 1,000) that is divinely preserved for us. The poetry and symmetry and dialogue is part of the story and is designed as such. Like real love…relationships are not textbooks or instruction manuals…but movements in a musical arrangement or verses in a beautiful poem.

The woman and her “GFs” speak in the first 7 verses. She is longing for Solomon. Consider this as a period of engagement. NOTE: There is strong and vibrant desire…but there is also an obvious and godly restraint. She has the desire for physical fulfillment…but controls the desire and lives according to godly restraint. (POINT: Sexual desire is not bad…but it, like all desire, must be harnessed and controlled.)

The desire is obvious in v.2. “May he “kiss me” with his mouth…and may he draw me into his chambers (v.4). Where can she find the Lover…where does he pasture his flocks so she can pursue him and find him there (v.7)? The Beloved (woman) is enamored with her Lover…he has an attractive physical appearance (v.3, pleasing fragrance) and an attractive character (v.3, your “name” is like purified oil). She acknowledges aloud that he is the most eligible and sought after man on the planet (v.3, the maidens love you).

In view of how she sees her man, she is self-conscious of her own appearance. She has darkened skin and blemishes (not the beauty marks of her day). She has lived working in the fields and therefore, her appearance is different than the women of the Sports Illustrated Swim suit edition (v.5-6). Bottom line…she sees only perfection in her lover but finds FAULT with herself.

Notice the Lover’s response. She is the most beautiful among women (v.8). He does not point out her blemishes but compliments the color and shape of her cheeks (v.10) and the length and curve of her neck (v.10). She is a beautiful fragrance…like a pouch of myrrh worn around his neck which he smells and loves when he lies down at night (v.13). She is a beautiful oasis in the desert (v.14). She has a pure and beautiful character (v.15) as seen in the “big, clear” eyes.  His assessment…she is like a mare among the stables of stallions that pull the chariots of Pharoah…(meaning she is like the only woman on the planet and is sought after by the strongest and most handsome of all horses). [Imagine the chaos cause by a single mare being paraded in front of hundreds of Stallions! This is how the lover sees his beloved.]

She responds to him by speaking of his love for her and how she feels blessed and secure…loved by him. vv.16-17, he is handsome and pleasant (attractive physically and in character), and provides for her a strong home and a fertile and lush couch.

OBSERVATION (or two). How often do men take time to address and speak to the insecurities of our women? Solomon (the lover) was so familiar with her, he could compliment her features and her character. He spoke to the insecurities and did not seek to convince her why she was wrong in her assessment (or tell her to get over it), but he affirmed her in the areas she needed it most. The beloved also knew him as no one else could. She saw the outward appearance and was enamored. She complimented him on his physical features and stature…but she also spoke of his character and desirability. BOTH partners spoke to and met the deepest needs of one another and they are still in the pursuit…the marriage is still not consummated!

POINT: You should look for and settle only for that person who meets your deepest needs. God has created a “match” for you. He or she may not be perfect yet…but he or she is still the match. There are so many more dimensions than physical attraction…but there is still physical attraction. Both were intimately aware with themselves and with their future mate. They were strongly desiring one another physically and emotionally. The physical can never be separated from the emotional…it is the capstone to it.

The woman observed and appreciated the attractiveness of her man…both physically and in his character. She knew he was a choice prize. This caused her to feel small and unworthy (a picture of true humility). As she lowered her head, he picked it up and looked deep into her eyes (figuratively) and overrode her insecurity by meeting her needs.

To sum it up…real love and real attraction is considered deeply and cultivated continually. Real attraction is watching from across the room and thinking on every feature, every strength and every implication. Real provision is more than bringing home a check…it is meeting and overcoming the insecurities each one feels. It is relating deeply…both emotionally and physically. In essence…it is acknowledging the design of God…that man (and woman) should not be alone but needs his “helper” to fulfill him and complete him. Real FULFILLMENT most often demands the gift of ones mate.

FInally…for those who are not married…this depth of consideration for one another is still part of the “chase,” the “pursuit,” the “courtship.” All of this would have been shortcutted if they had “hooked up” too soon or without proper foundation. God’s design is ALWAYS best…ALWAYS. Something is lost whenever we venture beyond the boundaries of God’s design…ALWAYS.

Proverbs 15:32 is the takeaway today. “He who neglects wisdom despises himself, but he who listens to reproof acquires understanding.”